After Thoughts : Beyond The Veil
by Swanheart
Summary: What lies behind the veil? One girl dies and finds out. [It's probably been done before, but I really don't care!]
1. Journey

_I died in my dreams  
What's that supposed to mean?  
Got lost in the fire  
  
I died in my dreams  
Reaching out for your hand  
My fatal desire . . ._

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I cough one last time. One last breath leaves my body. I can feel myself falling. Falling to where? Somewhere. I know I am dead, so where am I going? I have always believed in life after Death, or resurrection, but where still am I going? I have had many theories, of course, but I suppose not I ma to find out what really is after Life. What Death really is.  
  
I glance sideways to see a tattered veil hanging to either side of me. Where had I seen that before? In a book no doubt. Books can't help me now. Not even books know the remedy to Death. No, it wasn't a book. I would have remembered it better. Maybe someone had described it to me. Maybe Harry . . . Yes, of course! He had told me about it. Didn't he say 'He fell, just like that, sideways through a misty veil. It disappeared once he had gone through it.'  
  
He was talking about Sirius, his beloved godfather. Maybe I'm going to where he is. That would make sense. If he is there, maybe James and Lily Potter are there too. And all of the other souls we have lost in this war so far. Some completely innocent, children now in my eyes, some not so innocent, people who died for their cause. Martyrs. All of them fighting towards the same ultimate goal. To rid the world of Voldemort. I can finally say his name. Vol-de-mort. Some call him the Dark Lord, others You- Know-Who, but he is one person. Only one small person, yet so difficult to find and to kill. Unlike me, it would seem. I was easy prey.  
  
It's getting warmer now. I left Earth in a cold, wet and rainy place, a field, battlefield of sorts, but here it seems warm, and I can almost feel a sun of sorts. I seem to have stopped falling, now I'm sort of floating on my back, and I can finally open my eyes. Above me I can see nothing. No light, no dark, just absolute nothingness. I've slowed down now, to what would be a stroll if I were walking on Earth.  
  
I jerk suddenly, and find myself falling vertically downwards, plummeting towards an unknown place. Now I can see tiny pricks of light all around me, mere blurs as I speed up, dropping like a stone in water. It feels like I am being pulled in all directions, like every piece of my skin is being pinched by millions of tiny fingers, as if they were searching me for something.  
  
Now there are two definite things under me, one under each of my arms. They feel strangely like . . . arms. I am now aware that it is light around me, and I open my eyes gingerly. A pair of dark eyes stares down at me, a face framed by long dark hair, some of it brushing into the eyes. Eyes that I know well, but have not seen for nearly two years.  
  
"Well Hermione," he says. "Fancy seeing you here. I would have thought you were more sensible than to get yourself killed." 

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**A/N :**  
  
Hey guys!  
  
This A/N is at the end cause . . . it just is!  
  
Please R&R and tell me if you want me to carry on with this story. I wrote it after listening to the song at the top and I was slightly depressed. Whoo! I know its a bit short, but I can't be bothered to do any more at the moment.  
  
I own no characters [for once!] and no lyrics.  
  
This whole story is dedicated to Meeny, with this chapter dedicated to Addie and Arwen-Georgie-Skye. 


	2. New Beginnings

I just half-lie here and stare up into his eyes. I can't move, I've been static for too long, so he lifts me gently to stand upright. The ground feels sort of . . . squidgy underneath my feet. Squidgy. Is that even a word? Not that I really care any more. Surely in Death you can make up your own words? If not, then where can you make them up? I glance around carefully, not daring to move my legs, still hoping that this is a dream, and I am going to wake up in my own bed, with my friends around me to help and protect me like they always have.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asks me, gently taking my arm. I had almost forgotten he was here there is so much to take in.

"Fine," I reply. "But how . . ."

"Did you get here?" he completes my sentence for me, as I seem virtually unable to speak for myself. "Interesting question, and one that I am sure will be answered later. For now, I cannot tell you, but you must come this way with me." He takes a step forwards, but I pull at his arm to make him stop.

"Can't you tell me anything?"

"No. If we linger here too long . . . I don't want to think of the consequences."

"But . . ."

"No buts Hermione. Come this way."

I take one small step forwards and find myself being transported swiftly along, as if I were on one of the running walkways at Heathrow airport back home. Though I suppose this is my home now. This 'walkway' is going a lot more quickly than the ones at the airport though, so I can't see everything that we pass in fine detail. Firstly we pass what seems to be a large pair of gates, made from some sort of material that I don't recognise. This is too spooky to be true. Isn't this what the Christian books say about Heaven? No, their gates were made from gold I think, and didn't a Saint sit at them, telling you whether you could enter Heaven or not? I don't know. I may have been a bookworm on Earth, but R.E. was _never_ my favourite subject in Junior School. That is before I went to Hogwarts . . .

I can't imagine a world without life, if you get my meaning. I can't imagine a world without the life I used to live. I guess I'll have to get used to that now though, won't I? I can feel myself needing to mourn for all that I have lost, and yet I find myself unable to cry, almost as if my eyes have dried up.

"Rule number five : No mourning for that which you have lost," intones Sirius as if he has said it a thousand times before.

"What?" I didn't quite catch what he said.

"There are certain rules here that must be obeyed Hermione. You will get a copy of them some time. But rule number five is : No mourning for that which you have lost. Here you don't need to feel remorse. Those who you have left behind will be fine without you."

"But . . ." I don't see why I can't mourn for the loss of my beloved friends, as they are probably mourning the loss of me. I think for a moment. "Who made up the rules?"

"I don't know, probably whoever got here first."

"And that was . . .?"

"I have no idea," he admits.

"I mean, is there a God or Goddess or ruler or something here? Who keeps order? Tells you what to do?"

"There is a group of elders who see over various parts of 'life' here. You have to answer to them if you do anything wrong. Though that has never happened I don't think."

I sigh heavily. He does not understand what I mean, though I suppose I do not even understand myself. I have so many questions to ask, but no way in which to ask them. Questions like how exactly did I get here, through the veil, if it is in the Department of Mysteries, about two hundred miles for where I last stood on Earth, and are Lily and James Potter here, and what about my belongings back on Earth, like my sacred diary [luckily neither Ron nor Harry ever found out about this – I'd have been dead long before I actually died if they had of read it!], and how does time pass here, and . . .

Sirius turns to look at me, his dark eyes smiling into mine. "You'll be fine."

"But . . ."

"I know you have many questions, and these will be answered in due course, but first, we need to . . . ah, here we are!"

It almost seems as if Sirius has grown up in the two years that he has been here. His speech has definitely improved, as have his manners, which on Earth left much to desired. "Ready?" he asks.

"For w-" Sirius jerks at my hand tightly and pulls me off of the 'walkway'. It feels so odd not to be moving, but now I can finally look at exactly where we are. The whole place is covered in a sort of a mist, like it always was in the films, and now the ground feels more solid. I can see other people walking. They look semi-solid, more like ghosts than people.

"Do I look like that?" I turn and ask Sirius.

"Yes," he answers, and now I can see that he too looks translucent and almost ghost-like.

"Sirius?"

"Yes?"

"What am I now? I mean, I'm obviously not mortal . . ."

"You are a Soul."

"A Soul? What is that?" In all of my reading I never once came across something that explained Death properly, as if we were all to make up our own minds about the Afterlife. "Like the Soul that some people believed lived in each person and made them who they were?"

"Exactly. Souls come here after their mortal host has died."

"La forza dell'anima sopravvive alla morte," I repeat something someone in my past life once told me : The power of the Soul outlives the Death. I think it was Italian. "Then how . . ."

"Questions later, Hermione. I have more people to introduce into this Life yet. We are here, where your personal Space will be once you create it."

"I can create it myself?"

"Yes."

This I find interesting. "How much Space do I have?"

"As much as you want. There is a thing here called No-Time, which allows you to have as much space as you want without your Space running out of room."

This is slightly confusing, but I cannot wait to get to my Space, as Sirius calls it. "So where is it?"

"Here." He turns away from me, towards an empty space, and reaches out his hands gingerly, before taking one step forwards and disappearing, leaving me alone. I glance around quickly, before I too step forwards. A strange sensation almost like warm rain falls over me, and I step out the other side feeling oddly happy and refreshed.

"This is it," Sirius announces from somewhere in front of me, and I open my eyes, as they have been closed tightly since I stepped through, to find a large open room, rather like my old bedroom at home used to be, with lilac walls and a large double bed, although a lot larger.

"You can make it bigger and smaller just by wishing it," he says, and now I see where he is, sitting on a sofa in the middle of the room. "Now, any questions before I have to leave?"

"Well . . ." I start, thinking of all of the questions that have been spinning in my mind since I got here.

"No? Good. I'll go then." Sirius stands and brushes past me, as if to leave.

"Don't –" I start again, and he turns back to face me. "Don't go," I plead. He just looks at me like I'm a madwoman. "I'm all alone here. You're the only person I know, and I need to know what will happen, what I must do, how I eat and drink, and those Rules that you talked about. I – I – I don't want you to go . . ." I trail off, my voice getting quieter.

"Oh Hermione," he sighs. "I really wish I could stay, but I can't right now. That battle you were in had many Deaths, and I am one of only ten people ho can help to usher Souls into this world. I am needed there."

"But I need you here."

"I can answer some of your questions, but then I must go." He leads me over to sit on the sofa, and turns to face me. "What did you want to know?"

My questions and thoughts that had been in my mind for so long it seemed came gushing out of me all of once. "What do I eat and drink? What are the Rules? Can I go and visit other Dead and even the Living? How do I know what happens to my friends? What about my Earthly possessions? Are James and Lily here? How did I get to the veil if it is in the Department of Mysteries? How did I die?"

"Slow down a bit!" he exclaims, "Answers then. You _don't_ eat and drink as we have no need for it. The Rules, I have already told you, shall be given to you later. Yes, you can visit the other Dead, but as for the Living, you'll need a special permit to do that, and you won't be able to be seen by any of them like the Ghosts can. Therefore if you are given a permit you can know what happened to your friends. Your Earthly possessions can be wished for from here, but they will be like shadows of the actual ones you had at home. Yes, James and Lily are here, and you may go and visit them if you wish, and if they want to see you. The veil can appear anywhere and at any time, therefore it does not to be in the Department of Mysteries that you died for you to be here. As for how you died, that information should come back to you later, once you have slept overnight here." He seems out of breath after that long speech, and I am not surprised. "Now I really must go."

"No," I say almost longingly. "You can't –"

"I can and must. I shall be back soon to see how you are getting on, but I must go and fetch some more Souls. Goodbye."

He stands and turns to leave, and I stand with him, moving towards the door, trying to block his escape route. He sighs heavily. "Not now Hermione, I have work to do."

"But . . ." Before I can say any more he leans towards me, and kisses me lightly on the lips before disappearing through the wall.

My head is spinning now, and I collapse onto the bed, now realising how tired I am. Thoughts run through my head. _I am dead, in a weird place which is something like Heaven, with Harry's dead godfather, who just kissed me? _

This is going to be an odd Life.

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**A/N :**

Wow. I am quite proud of the fact it took me not too long to update. If only it was like that with Sorceress eh?

I didn't mean for this to be a Hermione/Sirius fic, but that's how it's turning out isn't it? Bother. Oh well, I'll try to make it the best I can. I can only try.

**Disclaimer** : FOR ONCE I own nothing. Amazing isn't it? [Those of you that have read Sorceress will know that in the D/C it usually says 'I own nothing except . . .' and the list goes on for ages. Feels refreshing for a change!]

**Dedication :**This goes to Amy, Rocky, Banana Baggins, John and Will [You can guess who they are if you want – No Addie that doesn't include you cause you already know!] Plus all of my friends and reviewers.

**Reviewers :**

**MythGalatea**** :** I'm going to finish it . . . eventually. It may take time, I'm usually soooo bad at updating [ask A-G-S]

**Nissy**** Padfoot :** The wait wasn't too long was it? Hope you enjoyed it!

**Rje**** :** Depression is the story of my life. Never mind though, must look to brighter things! OMG GERMAN ORAL TOMORROW! NOOOOOO!

**BunnySong**** :** You'll soon find out how she died, as she can't remember herself yet. And as for if they get to live happily ever after . . . that shall have to be seen too!

**Katie Bloom : **Dudetta! Hee hee – not Sirius but Hermione! I HATE PHYSICS!

**Isnani**** :**I joined the fanlisting on the day I got your review! I know there are so few stories out there about them – this was not an intentional one though!

**A-G-S :** Hey mate! No I haven't seen your review of her story – was that the one that got taken down? Sorry if I offended you but we weren't sure . . .

**Rane2920072 :** Glad you liked it, and hope you liked this one too!

**Addie :**I had the best night of my life last night [sounds a bit dodgy!] It has picked me up from my low state due to everything that's been going on in my life that's crap. I know you and Han Han had a great time too – but you enjoyed the Stripes more. Next time in the PIT!

**mrsmunkee**** :** Yep, she's well and truly dead. This is where its going [though not really by my choice, by what the reviewers were saying . . .]

**meenyrocks**** :**You can't review now can you? Silly ff took your story down cause you're odd. :P

**_Not to sound gay but Amy Lee is HOT!_**

[Sorry Hannah, had to be said. Go you and your New Rocks!]


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